you can get a lot of quotes from tvtome.com that's where I found some I'll post some here though
Whose LineColin (in Greatest Hits): Every song a hit, every hit a smack.
Colin: (in "Hats," with a Viking hat on) Come on, I'm horny!
Ryan: (in "Hats," wearing a hard hat with light) I'd take you out for a few drinks, but I'm a miner. (minor)
Wayne: (in "Hats," holding a Statue of Liberty-like torch) I'm just one flame looking for another.
Ryan (in LMAD): I should have know you Guppy boys were back in town.
Colin: (in LMAD) Hopefully, if your face was on fire, I'd beat it out!
Brad: Woo me!
Colin: What you?
Ryan: That fish was a no-good fish!
Colin: That fish was my pa!
Brad: (in "Weird Newscasters," after Wayne's segment) I feel like the meat in an incompetent sandwich.
Greg (in Rap): I don't know why I'm here, I'm a neurologist. I'm here with you and you're a proctologist.
Ryan: (introducing "Songs of the Bus Driver") Hi! We'll be back to the 24-hour Drew Carey Network in just a minute!
Ryan (during a game of Props, singing): We're evil Smurfs, we're evil Smurfs, we're evil Smurfs.
Colin: "Hey there buddy, hey there slugger
Put up your hands, I'm a friendly mugger
Give me your money, give me your dog
Cut down the tree, then give me a log
Give me the bushes and give me the trees
Give me the dog with all the fleas
Give me the sky, give me that thing...
Ooh, I'm crazy! Ooh!"
>starts break dancing
Brad: (When playing Animals) I just got him a shirt from Banana Republic.
Brad: "WHY couldn't you have had an easier rhyming name?Why couldn't you made this a very easy game?"
Brad: (singing to Niroshi) Let's drink some Brioschi ... I'll put on some suntan loshi ... I want to sail across the seven seas and the Pacific Oceai, Niroshi ...
Brad: My wagon has turned into a Ferrari! (after Karen guessed his Amish guy was Sean Connery)
(Ryan's 'Pizza Hoedown' verse)
Ryan: My uncle died yesterday, he owned a pizza place. Right in the coffin, he looked peaceful with his face.
Cooking pizzas was so fun, and his name was Sid,
When I opened up his coffin, he was stuck to the lid!
(during Questions Only)
Drew: Have you ever been in a hotel that was this wet and hot all at the same time?
Wayne: Have you ever been to San Francisco?
Wayne: (first line of his lounge song) How many times have you drowned? Ten, right?
Colin: This just in: Nine out of ten dentists agree the tenth one should just chill out.
Ryan: "We'll be back to your movie 'The Buns Of Navarone' in just a second."
Greg: (to Drew as he gives Greg his superhero name and the crisis) Thank you, Meat and Potatoes Man.
Ryan: It sure beat the hell out of using BLEEP (my right hand)!
Greg in pink wig: "My name's Mimi and I'll take anyone except that Drew Carey!"
Ryan: "We'll be back to the 24-hour Drew Carey Network."
Colin, in Abe Lincoln mask: "The last time I four-scored was seven years ago."
Colin: "Rodman needs more tattoos!"
Drew: "During the commercial I got spanked."
Drew: "1000 points to Ryan cause I love the way you cluck. Nobody lays an egg like you do, buddy."
Colin (during Hoedown): "People always kid me because I'm losing all my hair; I can't really help it that I'm folically impaired. It really is quite horrible, but, my life is not through; I still get way more sex than either Brad or Drew!"
Drew (during Hoedown): "I'm real happy I'm not Colin Mochrie either!"
Brad (during Hoedown): "But at least I'm not quite as bald as Colin Mochrie!"
Drew (during Hoedown, after Brad finishes): "Aw, man! Took my rhyme! I was going to do that!"
Brad: There I see a little picnic,
Let's go to it real quick,
I think we will get so sick sick sick sick sick sick sick.
We will eat all of their food there,
And we will not care, care,
Because we are ants and we will jump inside their pants, pants.
And we do the pants, pants,
We will do the dance, dance,
If we really can, da da da da da da da da!
And someday, I will buy you a bracelet of solid GOOOOOOOOOOOOOLD!!!!(Brad Sherwood, who then falls off of his stool.)
